Maybe Tonight
by endless blue skies
Summary: Post 02x19 A one night stand with someone like Humphrey wasn't something she wanted to even think about but it happened.
1. Prolouge

Okay, I just wanted to try this out. If this gets alot of reviews, i'll probably continue this but you know.

_Disclaimer: I don't own Gossip Girl and all the characters. It belongs to it's respective owners. So, bla. All the askdlfhsdfklsdhfklsda. :)_

* * *

He stood there, holding his disgusting brown faux-leather messenger bag over his probably greasy Brooklyn hipster hair with a confused expression plastered on his face.

She supposed it was quite surprising, finding her sitting on the sidewalk as the rain poured like it wasn't going to stop, but people like Dan Humphrey did not understand problems people like Blair Waldorf faced. People like Dan Humphrey did not understand what it felt like to have his minions turn against him. (How could he? Nobody in the right mind would follow somebody who wore stone washed jeans and polyester coats and-oh dear Lord-_flannel_.)

Dan Humphrey did not know what it felt to have his heart ripped into pieces because he never fell in love with someone like Chuck Bass. People like Dan Humphrey fell in love with people like Vanessa Abrams who had had no idea what the difference between a Prada bag and parade was.

People like Dan Humphrey, in some cases, sometimes even fell in love with people like Serena Van der Woodsen who crapped out sunshine and had happiness spilling off their hair.

Wiping her tears away, she looked up at him for a moment and their eyes met.

"What are you doing here?" he asked, wiping his face with his free hand. It was stupid, the rain would wet it again anyway.

"Nate happens to be one of my best friends."_ And maybe he makes me feel better and maybe I miss him._ "Why are_ you_ here? Isn't it enough that Nate dated your sister, now Gossip Girl is spreading all these blasts about your supposed Bromance."

"As much as I would love to continue my affair with the Upper East Side's Golden Boy, I have an English quiz to study for. Which is why i'm here. Nate has my notes." he explained, Blair rolled her eyes. She wanted to laugh at how pathetic he was despite the current cicurstances.

(Losing Yale, Nate not being home, Chuck not loving her.)

But she didn't want Humphrey to think he made her laugh because he will never make her laugh especially in he current disposition.

"What I meant was why is The Great Blair Waldorf sitting on the sidewalk infront of Nate Archibald's home while it was raining." he squinted his eyes. She wanted to slap him, she wanted to yell at him._ Why do you fucking care? Just let me be miserable._

"Well, he's not home." she answered as if that answered his question. She felt stupid going there, she thought he might've been home. She thought he would wrap his arms around her and make her feel worth something.

It was stupid how she didn't even bring any money for a cab ride or how she just thought she'd run there.

"That's why you're sitting there?"

Once upon a time, Blair Waldorf was living her fairytale and Dan Humphrey was a miserable nobody. In a weird twist of fate, Dan Humphrey now stood infront of a sopping wet Blair Waldorf who was the now the sad pathetic one.

"You don't see any chairs, do you?" she retorted. She wasn't going to win this, she knew that.

"I guess not." he muttered, walking closer to her. He extended his hand towards her.

That was it, the lowest point of her life. Dan Humphrey offering his help to her. It was sad, it was something a damsel in distress would do. (When Blair Waldorf was young she believed damsels in distress were ridiculous and stupid. She believed that they were the ones to blame for getting trapped and cursed. It was their fault for not getting Prince Charming quicker. So Blair Waldorf had her life planned out from the very beginning. Get Nate, go to Yale, fight her own battles and live happily ever after.)

"I don't need a fairy godmother's help." she mumbled, rubbing her eyes slowly. _Stop crying_.

"It's just a hand, Blair." She wanted to say something snarky but she was too tired. She'd been crying on the sidewalk for what seemed like an hour like she was waiting for something to happen.

(Because she really _wasn't_ trying to make the last part of _Tiffany's_ happen.)

"Come on. I promise it's not infested with Brooklyn germs, I even used one of those expensive soaps Serena gave my dad for Christmas." he smiled at her, she hesitantly took his hand and stood up.

"What's the point? I don't want to go home or anywhere where I can run into Chuck or recall anything _related_ to him. Can I just die here?" Blair groaned, pulling away from Humphrey's grasp.

"So you're sitting on the sidewalk in the pouring rain infront of Nate Archibald's house, who is supposedly Chuck Bass' best friend." Dan raised his eyebrow tentatively. Blair shot him a glare. She wanted to slap him. "Okay, okay. What about I take you to the loft? You're going to get sick."

"Humphrey, i'm more likely to catch a decease standing three feet from you."

"I happen to take a bath everyday!"

"In your condition, that's not even enough." she snapped, squinting as the rain fell on her face. She was beginning to realize her idiocy. Her hair was probably frizzing up!

"So, do you want to go to the loft or what?" she had no choice. She didn't want to go back home, Eleanor would murder her if she saw her looking like that.

"As horrible it is for me to say this, sure." she sighed, pulling her coat over her head in attempt to prevent the rain from falling on her even more. (It was useless, though. Her coat was drenched.)

"Come on, let's hail a cab."

"You are so pedestrian."

* * *

He kept his vision on the petite brunette who was swaying in the living room in an attempt to dry her wet clothes.

"Are you sure you don't want to sit down?" he asked unsurely because he knew she was going to get tired sooner or later but she didn't even glance at him. Instead, she took off her coat and continued to sway. "Do want you anything to drink?" he tried again. "Maybe some OJ or coffee. I make a mean milkshake."

"I guess some gin will do. Do you have any gin?" she faced him. Her tiny peach dress was turning see-through; he looked away.

"We have scotch." It was Rufus'

"I'll need something to drink if i'm staying here any longer." she sighed. _How long are you staying over?_

Dan grabbed the bottle of gin from the cupboard and poured some into a couple of shot glasses. Blair walked over, holding one of their family pictures.

"I wish I could be as happy." she sighed as she stared at the picture. Blair stood across the counter and smiled at him.

"Aren't you?"

"My dad left my mom for a thirty-five year old male model, Humphrey. Keep up." she snapped, downing a shot. He felt sorry for her, he really did but come on. She was Blair Waldorf, the girl who terrorized everybody and thought he was trash.

He was thinking too much so he downs a shot.

"What about your mom?"

"Please, I think Cyrus loves me more than she ever will."

"Come on, she doesn't think that!" he exclaimed, he watched her drink another shot and did the same.

"I mean, she'll choose Serena over me anyday because Serena's blonde and leggy." Blair drawled. "And look, i'm here in Brooklyn and i'm wet because I was crying in the rain."

"Would you please explain to me why you were sitting on the sidewalk infront of Nate Archibald's home?" he tried.

"Would you please explain to me why all your clothes want to make me vomit?" she deadpanned. He looked down at his flannel shirt and back at her.

"My shirt is _awesome_."

"Your shirt looks like a dog defecated on it several times." she pointed out, he frowned. Why did she have to be so mean?

"Serena likes my awesome shirts." he pouted.

"Serena picks up random _townies_!"

"I'm no townie, in fact i'm a level above a townie!" he said proudly. She actually laughs but then covers her mouth.

He's funny.

"Yeah, _Brooklyn boy_, you're way higher than a townie." he sensed sarcasm in her voice.

"Atleast I don't date sluts like Chuck." And her face fell at the mention of the Upper East Side's favorite man whore. Oh. _Oh. _

"I don't want to hear the bastard's name." she mumbled, taking another shot. "Did you know about his previous conquest? It was a stupid maid, a stupid maid Nate said he wanted to runaway with! How could he do that?"

She took another shot and another and another. He did the same. Hey, he didn't want to stay sober.

"Is he slumming it because clearly that's everyone's latest hobby. I mean, even i'm slumming it with you!"

"Ouch."

"And and...Nate."

She was so depressed and he wanted to be happy and suddenly she was standing next to him and her hand was on his. Her perfume started to fill the air and she leaned in closer and their lips met. (She tasted like rain and he liked that.)

He pretended he was Archer and he was kissing Blair's character from the play because maybe Blair was pretending too. Maybe Blair was pretending he was Chuck. So he pretended, because he was really good at pretending. (That Serena didn't bother him and that college was going to be fine.) She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer. Then he stopped because what if she wasn't pretending anymore?

"Should we be doing this?" he asked, pulling away for a second.

"I don't care. Maybe I want this." There was a maybe and maybe meant yes or no. It meant sitting on the middle of a seesaw and not knowing wether you were on top or at the bottom. He hated maybe.

"Maybe I wasnt this too." he blurted out and then she kissed him again because maybe he liked it. Maybe.


	2. Poptarts and the morning after

Ugh, sorry I haven't updated. I get really paranoid with this, and it's never always long enough for me. I don't even think this is long. Anyway, i'm not very happy with this but I hope you guise are. :) Thanks for all the reviews! :) -Andie

_Disclaimer: I don't own Gossip Girl or any of the characters._

* * *

She reeked of alcohol with a faint hint of smoke. The petite brunette stumbled into her best friend's bedroom drunkily as she let out a halfhearted laugh. The leggy blonde opened the lights and stared at her best friend for a moment. Her usual brown curls had fallen all over, her mascara had run and her lipstick was smudged.

It was quite a rare spectacle and in the eyes of a stranger, one would think the well mannered and perfect girl the brunette was supposed to be didn't exist. The girl who stood before Serena looked like she spent the night in some kind of prostitute house.

"B, what happened to you?" the blonde asked as she wrapped her arms around Blair. The brunette pulled away from her best friend's grasp and giggled.

"From B-b-r-"

"A bar?" Serena raised an eyebrow. She had often teased Blair about her low alcohol tolerance. Her best friend started dancing around the room in pure bliss.

"And Hum-hum-phreey was there too!" she exclaimed happily. "He said maybe and I said maybe and maybe maybe maybe maybeeeee."

"Maybe what?" she asked curiously, Blair sat down on the floor. "And please tell me why your hair looks like it has never touched shampoo?"

"Maybeeeeee." she giggled, as if she was taunting Serena. As if it was a secret, something of hers and Dan's. Which was odd to Serena for some reason. Dan and Blair shared mutual feelings of hate towards each other. Differing in levels of emotional rage ofcourse, but it was still hate due to each of their own shallow reasons. "And I ran in the rain, S!"

She frowned at Blair for a moment. "In the rain? You might get sick, B and what time is it? It's four thirty in the morning."

The brunette just stared and looked completely oblivious.

"You're drunk and I don't even know how you got here in your state of mind. You need to rest, Blair."

"Can we get some Poptarts and orange juice first?" Blair begged as she flashed her sad puppy dogs eyes. As tired as Serena was Blair and Poptarts were always two things she can never resist.

(And bescause who could resist drunk Blair? Drunk Blair was _always_ cooler than normal Blair.)

"Ok, but we have to be really quiet. You know Chuck needs his beauty sleep." Serena whispered, the brunette shook her head and slipped off her Marc Jacobs.

"No, we have to wake up Chuck because he's fun and he can tell us where the Poptarts are! Come on, i'll wake him up. It's going to be really fun!" she exclaimed, getting on her tip-toes as she ran out the room before the blonde had a chance to say anything.

She giggled as a disgruntled Chuck Bass was pulled out of his room by the drunken Blair Waldorf.

"I'm Chuck Bass." he rasped, rubbing his eye with his free-hand. "I'm Chuck Bass...I'm Chuck Bass..."

"And apparently, you're half asleep." Serena laughed. "Blair wants you to eat Poptarts with us."

"It's four in the morning, I don't even get up this early for school." he frowned, staring at the hand which was clasped around his wrist. She could imagine it, their inevitable electricity flowing with every little touch. How they felt something but denied every ounce of it.

How Chuck flinched everytime it happened and how Blair tried not to look affected. She loved to watch them, the way they reacted to every little movement.

The brunette pulled the boy downstairs quickly and Serena watched them from the top of the staircase. Their never ending song playing out in her head. They were like two parrallel poles who managed to intersect in the middle. Chuck and Blair were mythic and legendary. They were chemically imbalanced but had perfect chemistry.

Chuck and Blair, two people who were lost in their own worlds but somehow found their way into each other's heart. They were Chuck and Blair, Blair and Chuck. The worst thing they ever did was to love each other.

A noise came from the kitchen, Serena hoped the two haven't murdered each other yet. She found Blair sitting on top of the granite counter top with her legs dangling at the edge with Chuck in the middle. Serena giggled, seeing as both were covered in flour.

"What happened?" she raised her eyebrow.

"She wanted to _bake_ Poptarts, you can't _bake_ Poptarts." Chuck's mouth formed a pout, the flour on his cheek formed little fingertips that Serena knew belonged to Blair. "That's why they're called _Poptarts_."

Blair's smile had faded into a frown. "There wasn't any cherry and I want Cherry. So I told Chuck we should bake our own."

"And then she threw flour on my face."

Serena giggled. "It's a nice color on you, Chuck."

"If you like it so much then why don't you try it!" Blair exclaimed, tossing a handfull of flour in Serena's direction.

"Blair!" Serena exclaimed giddily, coughing up puffs of smoke.

Blair giggled and stepped down. "Now you two match!"

"Let's get her?" Chuck offered, Serena took his hand and smiled as she pulled him towards the happy brunette. Blair had always been the one for action plans, she was the one who had always prepared for everything. Everything from the colors of her headbands to how many calories she would eat before she had the urge to puke it all out.

But right now, Blair Waldorf was clueless and in a mess. She was in state of complete drunkeness where every color and number of calories didn't matter to her. She was to simply say, defenceless.

The brunette scurried into the living room as she her tiny feet stepped upon Lily van der Woodsen-Bass' pristine couch. "The floor is lava!" the blonde's best friend amended as if it were the most important thing in the world.

"No, it's not!" Chuck frowned as he let go off Serena's hand and ran after Blair.

"You're burning!"

"The floor is _not_ lava!" Chuck called, wrapping his arms around her tiny waist. A flinch as expected but he didn't let go. He pulled the brunette back as they landed on the couch with a loud plop.

Blair had tried to squirm. "You're cheating!"

"Blair! Come on, I thought you wanted some orange juice?" Serena smiled as sweetly as she can. "And i'll get you cherry _Poptarts_ in the morning?"

"Can you just bring it here? I'm tired." Blair answered with a yawn as she lied down on Chuck's chest.

"As you wish."

"You're a mess." Serena heard Chuck whisper as she walked towards the kitchen. "You're a mess, Blair." he said again.

"Am I losing?"

"_Never_."

"Good, 'cause you're not either." Blair mumbled. "Were really good at games." She wasn't really sure if Blair was talking about the _floor is lava_ or their own game.

The game they would never lose and never win. The game that pulled them together and broke them apart.

"M'hm."

"Chuck?" She whispered, softly and slowly. It was followed by a 'mm?' from Chuck. "Don't ever let go."

"I won't, I promise." he smiled, Serena watched him kiss her head slowly. If it wasn't love they felt, then she didn't know what love was.

Dan Humphrey was hungover, confused and pissed. Mostly pissed because the petite brunnette he had supposedly spent the night with had left with no explanation on what happened. He was pissed because he wanted to _know_, he was pissed because she couldn't just leave without a note or a text or _something_.

(Not that he cared, he was done playing _Archer_ and maybe she was done with playing _Countess Oleska_.)

_Where was she?_ (But really, he was far from caring.) Maybe she just went home to change. (And there was that maybe again. He hated maybe because he knew maybe meant no, atleast to Blair, but maybe it meant yes and maybe-)

He hated her. (Maybe not.)

He was really unsure but he wanted to be sure. _Dear Lord_, he needed some more Tylenol. The elevator doors of the Palace dinged open. It was Sunday and it was tradition-as of a week ago-that Humphrey's and van der Woodsen's and Bass (note singular noun.) spend quality time together by having Sunday brunch which was apparently quaint but also-apparently-very Upper East Side. (According to Jenny atleast.)

So today, he decided to be early (because the Loft totally didn't remind him of last night and Blair and how she touched him and how she let him touch her.)

Upon entering the suite, he found the brunette lying asleep on the couch with Chuck Bass' arms around her.

He should've known. It was just another one of her games, he was just a one night stand. It was stupid of him to think it meant something, he was a drunken mistake.

"Dan." It was Serena's voice, he turned his attention away from the two and looked up at the blonde who was standing atop of the stairs.

"H-hey. When did Blair get here?" He tried not to sound concerned, but he was.

"Oh yeah, she said she was with you last night at a...bar?" She lied, she lied about it all. About the maybe's and the kissing and-

"Yeah...she left. When-how did she get here?"

"Dan Humphrey, are you concerned for Blair Waldorf?" she asked mockingly.

"No."_ Yes._ "I just, I thought-"_ she wouldn't leave me_. "That...she wouldn't make it home." he mumbled, looking down at his shoes. He was pissed, and he wished he didn't believe her but he was caught off guard and maybe she was too and it happened. They were weak and confused, and it happened.

"Well, she made it here at four in the morning. I don't even know how she got here, she was soo drunk."

He scratched his head and stared at Blair. How serene she looked with Chuck, how happy. "Well, atleast she got here without a scratch."

"Huh, you know Blair." I don't.

"Well, i'm here for...erm...brunch."

Serena raised her eyebrow. "Funny, you're usually late." She started walking down the stairs and Dan wanted to kiss her, he wanted to feel her in his arms. (because if Blair had Chuck, maybe Dan could have Serena.)

"I was late_ last time_."

"M'hm but you're ridiculously early_ today_."

"Yeah?" he asked, watching the brunette get up from the couch.

"Humphrey?" she groaned as she rubbed her eyes slowly.

"I'm Chuck Bass." the boy behind her mumbled, keeping his arms around the tiny girl's waist.

"No, it's Humphrey? What're you doing here?" she asked, pulling away from Chuck.

"Brunch."

"Oh. I'll...be on my way then." she mumbled, her brown eyes looking into his as she bit her lip.

"Stay." Chuck grinned, getting up. Dan wanted to punch him because he spent the night with Blair and he was supposed to be the one with his arms around the brunette that he (maybe) didn't even like. He was supposed to be the one telling the brunette to_ stay_ because he knew she was going to regret the night and leave him. (No, actually he didn't because he was drunk that night.)

He should've expected it.

"Don't let Humphrey's presence interfere."

"Chivalry is dead, Chuck." she deadpanned, her eyes avoiding his now. "Eleanor will be wondering where I am."

"No, you should stay."_ We need to talk._

"I'm going."

"I'll walk you out." Dan offered because he really wanted to talk to her about last night.

"Like I said, chivalry is dead." she frowned, kissing the blonde's cheek. Blair ran towards the elevator and bit her lip before the doors opened with a sudden loud ding. Dan wanted to run after her and punch the wall and ask her why she left him and why she lied but he was too late.


	3. Were feeling higher

Brown curls, chocolate eyes and soft skin. The way she tasted like rain and gin rolled agaisnt his tongue, maybe's played in his head over and over like a never ending sequence. He wanted it to stop, he wanted it to leave his head. (His heart.) He couldn't write because she was all he could remember _because they needed to fucking talk. _

The way she kissed him. (like she wanted him.)

The way she held him. (as if she liked it.)

The way she made him run around in endless circles until he lost his mind. (Maybe he enjoyed it.) He liked mind games like chess and scrabble but fuck, this was a game he would never win. This was a game only Blair Waldorf knew how to start and no idea how to finish because this involved hearts (his heart and maybe hers.) and only God knew how bad both of them were at keeping their hearts in tact.

He took a sip out of the latte he was holding and continued walking. A warm-up, a sort of preparation for later when he talks to Blair. He spotted a familiar blonde walking ahead and he smiled.

"Hey Nate!" he called, Nate looked back and stopped.

"Hey." he grinned as soon as Dan caught up. "What's up?"

"Oh, I-you know. Thought i'd take a walk around, clear my head." Dan answered, tossing his latte cup into the trash. "I've had alot on my mind. What about you?"

"I don't know. Trying to figure out my life, Grandfather's been reaching out to me it's cool, you know?" Nate smiled his easy breezy shiny teeth Nate smile. "He offered me an intership for the mayor this summer."

Dan looked at his feet. "Yeah, erm... Vanessa told me."

"Oh. Yeah."

And it was awkward and Dan wanted to rewind and take back what he said. _You douche, they broke up because of that_. He told himself.

"I'm sorry, you know... I didn't mean to bring that up." he apologized, patting Nate on the back slowly who kept his hands in his pockets.

The blonde boy looked up at him and chuckled halfheartedly. "I fucked up."

"Don't worry, I fucked up even more." _Actually, she did but I feel like I fucked up._ Because look at him, he's pathetic. He_ feels_ pathetic because of her. He was like some lost puppy who needed someone to adopt him. "There was this girl."

"Oh, really now? What did you do to said girl?" Nate asked in a tone that had 'It's Serena isn't it?' all over.

Dan laughed. "It's not Serena, okay? Just...this girl-" _Blair._ "and I sort of had sex with her."

"So?"

"Dude, okay. She doesn't like me and I'm not supposed like her either but we had sex and she left me." he explained. "And now she's avoiding me."

Nate patted his back and placed his arm over his shoulder as they continued to walk. "Okay, what you have to do is just talk to her. Hear me? No interventions."

"_This_ is an intervention." Dan laughed.

"No, _this_ isn't an intervention._ This_ is our bro time." Nate smiled. "And come on, you aren't going to pick a girl over me, are you?"

"No, ofcourse not. We do have this awesome bromance."

"As long as i'm the man in the relationship."

"Fine, then i'm the girl. Carry my purse, will you?" He joked.

"I always knew you carried purses." A voice came from behind them, Dan pulled away from Nate and chuckled as he found Chuck standing behind them.

They stopped walking and stared at Chuck. "Jealous, Bass?" he retorted.

"_I_ can pull it off." he smirked. "_You_, on the other hand, would just look like a homosexual hobo which you already are."

"Play nice, ladies." Nate smiled.

Dan exaggerated a pout and turned to Nate. "But he's ruining our _date_, Natie." he frowned.

"I'm Chuck Bass." he rasped, Dan rolled his eyes. He hated it when Chuck used that card. (As if it proved anything.)

"Chuck Bass can't buy Nate Archibald." Or Blair Waldorf because then what would Dan Humphrey have?

(Correction, Dan Humphrey had nothing even if Chuck Bass didn't buy _her_.)

"I chose not to, right Nathaniel?"

"You did get me a cool toy car when we were small..." Nate mused for a moment. Chuck's smirked faltered. "Nah, it was the scarves that had me. Serena and I used to play this game where we would guess what color Chuck's scarf would be. I always won."

"It was pretty easy, seeing as Bass' favorite color was and still is purple." Dan chuckled, staring at Chuck's present scarf. A red and blue one (Red and blue made purple.)

"Are you sure your girlfriend isn't stalking me?" Chuck nudged Nate. Dan shot Chuck a glare.

"You're just jealous 'cause I already have Nate." he teased.

"You know, you guys, you two would make an awesome couple in a 90's sitcom." Nate grinned as they continued walking. "You guys could definitely pull off Monica and Chandler."

Chuck stuck his tongue out at Dan with a frown, Dan thought he looked like a six year old. "Ofcourse, Bass here is the Monica."

"Me? That's coming from someone who owns a Cabbage Patch doll." Chuck rolled his eyes. "I'm clearly Chandler."

"But Cedric could be our baby."

"The sexual tension here is too strong." Nate laughed. "Just kiss and make up, guys."

Someone's phone started to ring, Nate reached into his pockets and pulled out his phone. "Gotta take this, it's grandfather. Wait here." he said, walking a few feet away.

And it was awkward again because Dan didn't like Bass and Bass didn't like Dan. (Because Blair liked-_loves_-Bass.)

"So, Bass. How is your life?"

"It's none of your bussiness." he glared.

"Well, how are you and Blair?" _Because we had sex._

Chuck looked down because all of a sudden it seemed as if his feet were the most interesting specimens in the entire world. "I don't have her."

"Are you sure?" _It didn't seem like it yesterday morning._

"Nobody owns Blair Waldorf." he rasped.

"But you wish you did." Because he did too, maybe.

"You're not my therapist, Humphrey." Chuck scowled as Nate walked back towards them with a worried expression plastered on his face.

"That was Grandfather, he wanted me to help with Tripp. I told him i'd do it next time." he sighed. "You guys wanna grab a drink?"

"I gotta go somewhere." Dan waved.

He had to see Blair.

* * *

She thought of him, the way he touched her and how she liked it. How she forgot everything when he was with her. How she lost her mind, how she felt careless with him. Did she like him?

_Maybe, maybe, maybe._

She hoped not. The beige dress was strewn across her floor, she picked it up and tossed it into a trash can because she didn't want to remember, because she wanted to forget. (Because she'll never have him.) He took her somewhere, somewhere she was safe but she was back in reality where she had to be perfect and he was a nobody. A queen wouldn't fall inlove with a peasant. (Not that she was in love. _Been there, done that._ Failed terribly.) She blamed the alcohol. She had always been a lousy drunk and in reality, maybe the _MaybeIwantthis;maybeIwantittoo's_ didn't exist.

Maybe she dreamt it. (Correction, she did dream it.)

A knock came from her door, didn't Dorota know she was busy?

"What is it, Dorota?" she called angrily, as she lied down on her bed with the latest copy of Vogue in hand.

"Actually, it's Dan." Ah, there it was. The walking dream-_nightmare_-falling into her arms and crushing her perfect not-so-real reality. "We have to talk."

Four words and twelve letters have never been so terrifying to her. So she walked closer to the door and sat down, her back leaning against it. "There's nothing to say." she breathed.

"Blair." he mumbled slolwy from the other side. She closed her eyes. "We. Have. To. Talk."

"No because nothing happened." Why did Dorota even let him in? She'll have to yell at the maid later because she can't just let people like Dan Humphrey in their suite. "I fell asleep at Serena's place after I got drunk in a bar."

"Blair." he said again as if it was the only word her knew. "It happened."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Look Blair,we both know what happened that night and we have to talk about it."

"Why?" she asked, because maybe Blair Waldorf didn't know all the answers. Maybe she was as clueless as everyone else.

"Because-" _do we like each other?_ She asked herself. "I need to know why it happened." he said.

She didn't answer because she wanted to know too.

"I-I know you and Chuck are-"

"Were nothing." she muttered loud enough for him to hear. "We have always been nothing."

He didn't say anything back. "Were not meant to be, me and Chuck because were Chuck and Blair, Blair and Chuck."

"So why do you bother?" _Because I love him._

"Because maybe it's worth fighting for."_ Like what you and Serena do. You fight because you're inlove._

"Aren't you tired of it?" he asked. In her reality Dan Humphrey did not care, Dan Humphrey was a nobody whose father happened to end up on the Upper East Side. In this nightmare, Dan Humphrey cared because Dan Humphrey had been _somebody_ as of the memories of the past night and she hated it, she despised it.

"Aren't you tired of fighting for Serena?" she asked.

"That's different."

"It's because you love her and she loves you and maybe you both admitted it to each other but you're both afraid too. I don't know what both of you are afraid of but it's what's pulling you two away and that's what pulling me and Chuck away too." she told him as she breathed in and out steadily.

"I-I don't think-"

"What are you afraid of, Humphrey? I mean besides the fact that you should be afraid of going out in public wearing your ridiculous flannel shirts but then I guess that makes you fearless."

"Erm, thanks, I guess?" he mumbled, as a tapping sound came from the other side.

"So what are you afraid of?" she asked, looking down at the floor.

"I guess i'm afraid of losing her. I'm so afraid that I end up the one breaking it off and losing her." he told her. "Serena's just-"

"_Serena._" Blair muttered with a bit of poison in her tone. "It's always her name everybody remembers and i'm just her best friend and i'm just so sick of it. Even _you_ like Serena better because she has shiny hair and she's blonde and happy and she just craps out sunshine and I have dry ends and i'm brunette and scary and i'm the girl version of Darth Vader only worse!"

"That's not true." he tried, at least he was trying. "You're Blair and you..."

"Save it." _Please don't make this harder._

"You're worth fighting for." he simply said, she twirled her brown locks with her finger and smiled. She stood up and opened the door. Humphrey fell on her floor, she laughed softly.

She forgot about how much she hated him because right now her heart made it seem as if she needed him.

"You think so?" she grinned, pulling him up.

He placed his hand behind his head and smiled. "Yeah. You are."

She kept her eyes locked into his as she took his free hand. Maybe tonight she can run away again, no perfections. Just flaws because Humphrey was her mistake not Serena's Mr. Right. He was her escape, she could hear it in her head. (_The best friend and the boyfriend, real classy, B_.) Like some kind of deja vu, Nate and Serena, Chuck and her. Wasn't she sick of it? Apparently not.

"Would you fight for me?"

His lips formed a grin. "Maybe. Would you fight for me?"

"I don't know." _Maybe_. "Give me something worth fighting for." _The same way you and Serena have something to fight for._

"Maybe I will, Waldorf."

And he took her heart and her mind flew away. He took it all and it confused her because what did that leave her?

"Give me something different, something Serena hasn't had. Something just for me because i'm sick of sharing." she whispered, playing with one of his fingers.

"Give me a reason."

She smiled and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Because maybe you could prove to me that love doesn't have to make you hurt." _Is this love?_ (No, this isn't.)

He grinned and kissed her, slowly and softly as if he was trying to figure her out, like he was making sure this was real. (Please, let this be real.) Like he was trying to find her, as if the answers were somehow on her lips. (It wasn't.)

* * *

**BONJOUR!**

**I know this is rushed a bit but my plot goes deeper than this and COME ON, who doesn't like a bit of confused!dair? Fluff fluff fluff. **

**REVIEWS ARE LOVED. :**)


	4. Not worth it

**A/N: ****This is a short chapter but it's idk. I hope you guys like it. Sorry I took too long! I'm in need of a BETA. Message me if you guys are willing to Beta. :)**

She sat down on top of the counter, legs crossed with her elbows resting on her knees. She wore his white dress shirt with the sleeves pulled up and it was reality that sunk in so deep that he wanted to just rush in and kiss her over and over. A smile creeped across the brunette face as she stared at him with her doe brown eyes.

"Come here, Humphrey." she urged as he paced towards her. Blair wrapped her arms around his neck. "I may possibly like you more without all that flannel on you."

He looked down, he was wearing his boxers and nothing else. "I like _you_." he whispered.

"Hmmm." she mumbled, her lips meeting his softly, quickly.

"What if anyone catches us?"

She twirled her hair with one of her slender fingers. "Dorota took the day off and Eleanor and Cyrus are in France." she grinned. (Considering how loud Blair was last night, it wasn't a wonder why Dorota had chosen to flee.)

"And what if Gossip Girl finds out?"

"What Gossip Girl doesn't know won't hurt her _or_ us." Blair pressed her lips together and stared at him for a moment. "And Waldorf and Humphrey hooking up? Would people even believe that?"

It hit him slowly, because it was just another hook up for her. He didn't want games, something that ended as soon as someone stepped foot on the finish line. He wanted something to fight for. He wanted to be the one sweeping her off her feet and taking her to happily ever after. He didn't want to be just some guy she left after Prince-not so- Charming (i.e. Chuck Bass.) took her away into the sunset.

"W-wait, so this is just another hook-up to you?" he asked.

"No. It's not." she grinned, wrapped her legs around his waist as she kissed him slowly.

"It is, isn't it?" he pulled away. How could he believe her? She was Blair Waldorf, she schemed and twisted and manipulated and lied. How did he know he could trust her? "Is it a game?"

"I don't know."

"What do you mean you don't know? Have you lied and manipulated so much that even you don't know the truth?" It came out of him all of a sudden, the words spilled out before he could think them through because a second later the brunette's hand reached over towards his face and slapped him. She frowned, a tear falling.

"What do you expect me to say?" she yelled angrily.

"Does this even matter to you, Blair? DO_ I_ EVEN MATTER?" Dan pointed to himself and closed his eyes for a second.

"You know you're not supposed to matter."

"And _do_ I?"

"WHY DON'T YOU TRUST ME?" Blair was yelling and Dan didn't like it. Why couldn't it be as easy as falling in love and holding hands? (Because Serena made it complicated, because Chuck would have an assasin murder him.) It was her question the kept him wondering because why _didn't_ he trust her? Because she was Blair? Why was he scared when nothing was going to get broken?

He wasn't in love. (Maybe he was.)

"Give me a reason." _Please tell me I matter._

"And what if I don't." she retorted because it didn't come out as a question. It sounded like a challenge. A dare. "Tell me."

He stared at her, eyes locked into each other's gaze. "Then I walk out of this place." he told her. Her face fell and tears streamed down her cheeks. He resisted the urge to wipe them off her face.

"You promised." she whispered softly but loud enough to hear. "You promised you'd fight for me-for this."

"You told me you'd give me a reason. Where is it, Blair? What is it? Why should I even stay for something i'm not even sure what it is!" he was yelling now too because he needed reasons and there were no reasons.

"THEN LEAVE!" She screamed as she stepped down the counter and placed her hands on his chest to push him angrily. "Because some people don't need reasons."

"Maybe because you're not worth fighting for." he whispered loud enough for her to hear as he picked up his pants and walked out.


	5. Just love me already

**Bonjour everyone!**

**Thank you for all the nice reviews and yes, I know my french was awful. I apologize for that! It was just google translate. Anyway, I hope you guys like this one. I had so much fun writing this. :) -Andie  
**

Maybe she can runaway to Paris, live with Harold and Roman. Serena couldn't stop her now. Nothing would stop her. Paris would be a dream. Fashion, food and boys, boys, boys. (Boys i.e. Not Humphrey _or_ Chuck.) _Paris, France_. A new start. (Forget Humphrey because the first time could've been nothing but it was the second time and we all know second time always meant_ something_.)

Yes. Paris. She could pack her bags and not remember or feel anything. She could recreate herself ala Serena van der Woodsen circa pre-boarding school. No attachments, just hook-ups. No love. Forget Blair Waldorf. Paris. Paris.

"B, are you even listening?" Serena asked with a smile as she stared at their reflection in the fitting room mirror. The blonde ran her fingers through her hair, Blair turned her head to the blonde.

"Ofcourse, S. You were talking about...uhm." _Shit._

Serena threw her head back and laughed. "You never listen. I was talking about Rufus' surprise party tonight. I don't have a date." she pouted.

"The only surprise there is that i'm actually invited but ofcourse, i'm invited to everything." She giggled. Blair contemplated for a minute, pressing her manicured finger to her lips. Maybe Serena was worth staying for. "I guess I can be your date."

"That's why I love you, B." Maybe she could take Serena to Paris with her. Getting drunk, doing drugs, hooking-up and having aliases. No social hierarchy. "Were going to be prettiest couple tonight."

"Ofcourse, you're prettier." It wasn't a compliment, it was the truth. The truth she's known since she was a kindergardner, when Serena got Valentines from _all_ the boys and she got only one from Nate.

Serena placed her hands on Blair's shoulders and directed her to the mirror. "You're gorgeous, B. Don't forget that."

It sank in as soon as those words left the blonde's lips. _I slept with Humphrey_ rolled along her tongue._ I didn't mean to do it, S._ She pushed some strands of hair behind her ear and cleared her throat.

She didn't feel anything because she wasn't _supposed_ to feel anything. Princesses didn't fall in love with peasants. (What if she wanted Humphrey and not Prince Charming?) Happily ever after never had a princess and a poor man. Happily ever after never had a princess fighting because happily ever after meant the prince saving her. (Because she _can't_ fight for their love or atleast whatever they had because they had _something_. But ofcourse, that something was over after what happened the week before.)

"It's always going to be you and me, right?" _You'll forgive me, right? _It shouldn't matter anymore, right? They were over but why did something in her stomach churn everytime she thought about Humphrey? Liking him (falling in love with him.) wasn't bad. It technically wasn't going behind Serena's back.

"You're my best friend, Blair." Serena smiled, she smiled back. "I loved you first."

Blair let out a giggle. "Nate likes to brag that he was the first one. Just don't tell him, I hate it when you bring down that boy. It's like telling him about Santa all over again."

"Oh, he wouldn't come out of his room for a week." Serena laughed, clasping her hand over her mouth.

It was going to be okay. Serena would forgive her, Serena always forgave her.

"Speaking of love...how are you and Chuck?" her heart skipped a few beats at the mention of his name. No.

"Love?" she spat. "Love isn't even in that boy's vocabulary and anyway i've been avoiding him. He says were inevitable, I say he's _avoidable_."

"Come on, B. Give him a break."

"No, what happened between the two of us was so embarrassing. I practically threw myself at him and he just pushed me away!" _What if I told him I loved him and he pushed me away again?_

"Blair, talk to him." Serena told her. "You _are_ going to see him tonight."

"No. I refuse to talk to him and if we do see each I won't acknowledge him. He's not my date, you are."

Serena closed her eyes for a second and then opened them again and stared at Blair. "Come on, S. It's like you talking to Cabbage Patch after the whole Ms. Carr and Humphrey deal." Blair shot.

"That's different. Dan... I know Dan and I aren't meant to be."

"And Chuck and I are?" Blair raised an eyebrow. "Face it, S. We should just enter the convent and call ourselves Virgin Mary's for life."

"Except were not virgins." Serena grinned, squeezing the brunette's arm lightly. "And were not exactly pure."

"Were cleaner than Whoregina." she winked. "And last time I heard the church doesn't discriminate, S."

"I don't think nuns can wear Louboutins, B."

"You're right and the whole male population in the Upper East Side just might emotionally die inside when they find out we've devoted out whole lives to God." Blair laughed, placing both hands to her chest. "I guess you and I can always get married." _You loved me first, don't take it back._

"We can pull off an Ellen and Portia." Serena grinned.

"Maybe." she whispered but what if what she had with Humphrey was love and Serena found out and never talked to her again? What if she never got over Chuck? What if Humphrey didn't fall in love back?

Dan Humphrey and Blair Waldorf. It scared her how she liked the sound of it. How it felt so ambivalent, how wrong yet right their names swirled in her head together. (Because secretly maybe she wanted it to happen, Dan and Blair. Blair and Dan. Maybe they could be the endgame.)

"What do you think?" Serena twirled in a dark green dress, with her golden hair falling into the right places because she was Serena and that's what she did. She spun around and around until she got dizzy and all the boys lined up with their arms stretched out, ready to catch the falling princess.

The brunette smiled. "Perfect." _You'll catch me when no one else wants to, right?_

"Thanks, B." _Ofcourse._

Blair Waldorf had taken over him, his mind, his body. (Maybe even his non-existent heart.) He hated her, he hated her with a burning passion. He hated her so much it didn't even make sense but every time-_every fucking time_-he saw her, talked to her or even thought about her (he didn't think about her. Not everyday, every hour, every minute or second.) he felt something. Something that made his stomach hurt and his nonexistent heart beat.

The blonde boy had found him at the Palace bar with a glass of scotch in hand. "Hey, Chuck." he smiled, sliding onto the stool next to him as he mentioned the bartender to fix him a drink. "What's up?"

"Brooding over the fact that I have to be here." he rolled his eyes and pressed his lips against the cool glass. "Humphreys belong in Brooklyn, not in balls in the Upper East Side."

"But what about your boyfriend?" Nate pouted as the bartender handed him a drink.

"Don't you mean_ your_ girlfriend?" he retorted with a smirk. "And if I'm going to be anyone's boyfriend, i'd be yours."

Nate grinned because he knew Chuck will always love him over anything and anyone. Chuck knew that, Chuck's always known that. It was a fact, it was something they never talked about but it was something written on stone. Before girls and booze and Humphrey. (Not that Humphrey was threat to Chuck. Humphrey was irrelevant.) Before serious shit and before things got so fucked up, there had always been Nate and Chuck. (and there will always be Nate and Chuck.)

"I won't hold your purses though..." Nate chuckled because he was Nate. He was shiny haired blonde and happy knight in shining armor Nate. (_Always have, always will_.) "Or scarves."

"You're a bad boyfriend. Anyway, I don't need you and your mistress, Humphrey, to drag me down." _Please don't replace me with Humphrey, don't replace me with anyone_.

"But we bros, right?" Nate smiled, Chuck wondered for a moment, had Nate been spending so much time in Brooklyn that he was now talking ghetto? Had he really spent so much time with Humphrey that he had acquired enough street credit for the slums? Not that Humphrey would ever have any street credit, but surely Nate would.

Chuck raised his eyebrow at Nate questioningly. "Like I said before Nathaniel, I only care about three things and you're one of them."

"Yeah, I know." A sigh of relief. (For a second, he was afraid Nate would say something like _ayt_.)

"Speaking of your beloved paramour." he rasped, taking a sip from his glass. "I believe that mess is yours."

"Lily's looking for you two." Humphrey smiled as he took the stool next to Chuck. "Huge party upstairs. Didn't know that much people could fit in your suite."

"Why are you still talking?" Chuck raised his eyebrow.

Humphrey rolled his eyes and looked at Nate. "What are you guys up to?" he asked.

"Intervening. You guys want to do shots?" Nate smiled. Had Nate seriously been in the ghetto? Shots were so seventh grade. Had he lost his mind? Had Chuck been gone_ that_ long?

"Sure." Brooklyn nodded before Chuck could answer. Nate motioned to the bartender and he appeared later with a tray. "Chuck?"

"Huh." he rolled his eyes. "Hand me one." Humphrey was a fucking smartass who thought he knew everything. He didn't, he was fucking oblivious to everything. He was stupid, like Waldorf.

"Okay. So, on three all together." the blonde boy grinned, putting his fingers up. "One, two, three, GO!"

The three of them doused their shots at the same time.

He fucking hated shots. They were pedestrain and stupid and stereotypical. Rich people didn't fucking do shots. Shots were for people who tried looking rich but obviously weren't. Rich people, much like himself, drank expensive wine and the finest scotch. They never bought weed because they could afford Hash and never got smashed in bars. They had their penthouse suites to do that in with the comfort of home and privacy.

But something in him, the heat? The rush? (Blair Waldorf.) made him want more. (Blair would never do it. Blair was pretty and poised and perfect. Chuck Bass was otherwise and he had to prove it.)

"Another, one, two, threee!" Nate chuckled giddily and two became four and four become twelve. He was drunk. He was fucking drunk. _You're a fucking disgrace, Charles_. Ghost Bart had told him but he didn't care.

"You know, I love you guys." Nate laughed, resting his hand on Chuck's shoulder. "You guys are the best after what happened between me and Vanessa and Blair and Jenny. They're bitches, you know? And Serena! Mostly Serena." The mention of the brunette's name made him angry.

"Blair is a stupid bitch. She makes me feel useless, like i'm not worth anything but it's the best feeling in the world and I really wish she didn't do it because I hate her." Chuck rambled as he took another shot.

Humphrey breathed in. "She's a fucking bitch."

But then her voice swirled in his mind. _I am me and you are you. Were Chuck and Blair, Blair and Chuck. The worst thing I ever did, the darkest thought I ever had_ and he wanted to punch something (Humphrey, for the fun of it to say the least) because the brunette wouldn't stop it. Like she wouldn't give up.

"But you love her." Nate nudged Chuck with a smile.

"I really doooo." he groaned. He heard Humphrey cough.

"Why don't you go marry herrr?" Humphrey slurred, cupping his chin with his hand as he stared at Chuck with an annoying expression.

"You guys should get married, I would be the bride's maid." the blonde boy grinned. "And we'll have pretty dresses."

Chuck placed his arm over Nate's shoulder. "As long as Humphrey brings flowers...Peonies." Because Blair really likes Peonies, and if there were Peonies perhaps Blair would come running into the church yelling 'Stop the wedding!'

"I like sunflowers..." Humphrey hiccuped behind him. "I would have a sunflower boquet."

"Shut up." Sunflowers were for poor people who told themselves they liked sunflowers because sunflowers were easy to grow behind their picket fences in their own stupid poor common people gardens. "I pick the flowers."

"S'not like yer the bride."

"I'm paying." He had enough money to throw thirty, maybe forty, extravgant weddings. Enough to have Blair running to him, enough to have her tell him he was making a mistake. Enough to have her take him back. "So I choose the flowers."

Nate stood up. "Let's go upstairs and tell everyone about our-_your_-wedding." he exclaimed.

"And we'll tell Blair!" Humphrey exclaimed proudly. "And and she'll...get hurt and..."

Maybe Humphrey wasn't so dumb after all.


	6. I must be dreaming

Coming up was a mistake, he should've stayed at the bar. He didn't want to see her (He didn't want to _ever_ see her.) because it still hurt and the words felt as if they were tattooed on his forehead. He knew they stung her more than he intended them to. But her words stung too. They fucking stung. _Because some people don't need reasons_.

He spotted her by the kitchen in a purple dress cut up to her knees with her matching headband to hold up her curls. His feet carried him towards her even when his heart told him to stop (because he didn't deserve her and her non-reasons and her being not-worth-it).

Somehow he was suddenly sober.

The expression on her face made it clear that he wasn't wanted but he took her hand and pulled her into the pantry. She was breathing slowly in the dark, the small space had their bodies tangled into a mess.

"What do you want?" she huffed. "You smell like alcohol, have you been drinking?"

He ignored her, because he had to show her he wanted her. He had to show her that she was_-is_-worth it. He had to show her that he wanted to take back his words. So he placed his lips over hers slowly. _This isn't enough but I think I'm falling in love with you._ He wanted to say. His hands found her hips, she ran her fingers through his hair, her leg wrapped around his.

"I'm sorry." he whispered. "I really like you."

She let out a giggle. "I'm scared."

The thing was, she wasn't supposed to be scared. She was Blair, if she was scared then it meant it was really something difficult. He gulped the imaginary lump in his throat. "Me too."

The door flew open, the blonde boy widened his boy eyes and placed his hand over his head and chuckled. "Hey Daaaan." he slurred. "You found my hiding placeee. Blair! Chuck s'lookin' for you. You're Blair, right? I must be more drunk than I think."

Blair had already pulled away in a flurry, her cheeks burned red as she ran out.

"Wh-what are you doing here, Nate?" he scratched his head as Nate filled Blair's spot. "Aren't you supposed to be...you know...out there?"

He closed his eyes and giggled. "'sn't this yer dad's party?" Nate was a mess, he smelled of alcohol and smoke. He probably smoked up some hash with Chuck before going up but he had a point.

"Touche, Archibald." he nodded as Nate breathed in.

"I always stay here when there's a party. I don't like people." he explained as he grabbed a box of Poptarts from the top shelf. "Plus, there's food."

"Even when you're wasted you have the best ideas." Dan smiled, grabbing a pack from Nate's box. "Why can't _we_ get married?"

Nate smiled. "Because I don't like white dresses and tuxes look better on you."

"You're just jealous, Natie." he laughed.

"So it was Blair? Blair's the girl?" Nate punched Dan's shoulder as they sat down in the tiny pantry. "I told you to talk to her, man. Not to get laid."

"What? B-blair? No, man." he shook his head. Nate was stoned, he would believe him.

"Fuck you, bro. I'm wasted but not_ that_ wasted. I saw her and it seems like you two are doing fine now." Nate grinned, pushing a Poptart into Dan's hands. "Eat."

Dan scratched his head and smiled. He couldn't lie to Nate, Nate was his best friend. (Atleast he liked to think he was.) "Yeah, okay. Blair."

"Dude! Who else knows?" Nate grinned, punching his arm again. "I better not be the last one to know."

"Only you, just you. You can't tell anyone. Especially Chuck." he frowned. (Because Chuck would kill him.) "And because I really don't know what we are."

"Dude, she's Blair."

"I know." He did. He knew that. _He fucking knew that._

_"Dude."_

Outside the pantry, the brunette ran her fingers through her hair and frowned. When did everything get as fucked up as this? She was confused, she wanted to cry because lately tears have become the only things that made her better. Was she in love? (Doubt it.) Did she like him enough to almost be in love? (Maybe.) But what about Chuck? She couldn't leave him and being with someone else would inevitably end anything they ever had (or will possibly have). It would end them, it would change even the slightest bit of friendship they had. (Chuck and Blair would end, they would cease to exist.)

(Because before three words, eight letters because there had always been Blair and Chuck, Chuck and Blair. It started at six years old, skating in Central Park with the Archibalds and the Basses. When she held on to Nate and he got distracted by the pretty blonde girl skating in circles. When she slipped the Nate's best friend, Chuck, had been there to catch her before she hit the ice.)

She needed air, she needed time to think. She ran to Serena's bathroom because she felt dinner creep up her stomach. (She didn't but she wanted to feel it happen.) She pushed the door open, Chuck sat down on the counter top, smoke coming out of his mouth.(_Hash_, she supposed. It had always been Chuck's favorite.)

She turned around before he could catch her.

"Blair." he breathed out as she faced him. Too late "I-you look nice."

"Thanks." She wasn't ready. She wasn't ready to face him after what happened. "You look nice too. I have to go, Serena's looking for me and she's my da-"

He grabbed her wrist. "Stay. We should...talk."

"What's there to talk about?" she asked and she needed an answer. She needed a fucking answer because lately nothing's been answered like her life was suddenly filled with questions nobody could solve (because it was usually her who had all the answers and now she didn't even understand anything anymore).

"I'm sorry." he whispered. "I'm no good at this. I'm Chuck Bass."

Why couldn't it be easy? Because she wasn't supposed to be in love with Chuck and Humphrey wasn't supposed to matter. Serena wasn't supposed to leave because Serena was supposed to stick with her forever (it was official when they pinky promised on the first day of kindergarden. She was scared, so was Serena but they decided that if they had each other everything would be better). She was supposed to marry Nate and have peonies in her hand while she wore a dress her mother made especially for her on her wedding day. He was the prince, she was the princess. He'd fight dragons and kiss her when everything went wrong.

Because Serena and Nate weren't supposed to be the ones in love with each other and Chuck wasn't supposed to be saying sorry to her now. Why was everything so fucked up?

"There's nothing to say sorry for, Chuck." she snapped because she can always fight it off.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I miss you." he rasped, tossing the cigarette in the toilet.

"We see each other in school." she rolled her eyes, but she knew what he meant. She fucking missed him too. So much, too much. "So unless you have a better reason for me to stay here, i'm leaving." _I'm sorry too. It's Humphrey. I like him, maybe he could save me._

"Prince charming can wait. Stay for me." he smirked.

"You're stoned, Chuck. Lily won't appreciate that." Blair mumbled, Chuck had stepped down the counter and was now facing her. "I'm going now."_ Let go._

"S'okay. Bart's dead, s'not like he's going to yell at me. He doesn't care, never cared, never will." It was a quick flash, the pain in his eyes as if to say _ You cared, you still do, right?_

She wrapped her arms around him. "Remember when it was easy?" she whispered as she felt his weight shift onto hers.

"It was never easy, Waldorf."_ If we made it before then were going to make it now._ His eyes told her.

"You said it was over. You can't leave me hanging everytime." she was begging, she never begged. She was a queen not some peasant.

"Don't you like games?" he chuckled. "Is the game master giving up? You're really good at games Blair."_ Stop playing with me. _

She pulled him up, her eyes locked into his (they were blood shot and tired but they were in pain, clear visions as if words were tattooed onto them). "Were both going to lose."

"Sshh, nobody else knows that." Chuck grinned, his breath on her face. "We can't lose if it's love."

"Is it?"

"Love?" he smirked at her, his lips on her neck. "I don't know. Maybe it's really just a game."

"Then let me lose." she was begging again because he made her so weak. He made her so scared, she wanted to run everytime. Why couldn't he just let her?

"Don't give up on me." he whispered, his lips over hers.

Too much CB in this, sorry. DN tho. Those two are just so adorable.


	7. One week of danger

I don't like this chapter very much but, enjoy. xoxo

He had been watching her from the Courtyard, white stocking covered legs crossed with her skirt riding up her thighs a bit. She was listening to the blonde, nodding her head up and down with her eyes glazing over as if she were bored. Dan reminded himself that they hadn't talked since the party and he hated it. He hated her.

Because what about liking him and being scared? What about kissing in the pantry with his hands on her? Did it mean anything to her? Did _he_ mean anything to her? He felt himself walk towards her with his hand clutched onto the strap of his messenger bag as if he were holding on for dear life. (Maybe he was.)

"B, I just don't really get why he has t-" Serena stopped midsentence and flashed him a smile. "Oh, hey Dan."

"Hey Serena." he said, staring at the brunette who had her gaze fixed on a loose end of her sweater as she fiddled around with the string using one of her tiny fingers. He remembered the way her fingers felt on his jaw while she traced it's outline and smiled at him that night and how they- No. _No_. He should'nt be thinking about that. "Waldorf."

"Humphrey." she tilted her head to the side and smriked at him for a moment as if to say _I don't fucking know you_. "What were you saying, S?"

"Can we talk?"

"I'm sorry Cabbage Patch but Serena has been decontaminated from your Brooklyn ways, so run along." Blair rolled her eyes. It took every bit of him not to yell-to beg-_Please tell me_ you're _not_.

He clenched his fists. "No, Blair. I meant you."

She stared at him for a moment shooting daggers with her eyes. "No, Humphrey. I will not help you dress better."

"Be nice, B." Serena smiled, Dan sighed and shot her a look saying _thank you_.

"Please?" he was fucking begging.

The brunette let out a huff and stepped down the table. He took her wrist, pulling her into an empty hall.

"Blair." he muttered, she looked down at her shoes. "Blair."

"What do you want?" her tone was hard, and he had no idea what to say because he didn't know what he wanted or why he had pulled her there. "Are you stupid, Humphrey? .."_ You. I want you._ He decided but he didn't say it out loud.

"Do you like me, Waldorf?"

She froze at the question, not long ago she had asked the same question to Chuck on the rooftop of Kati Farkas' home where Blair held her seventeenth birthday party.

"Define like." she asked, mimicking the words Chuck had used that night because what if she did like him and what if she really was scared? Had Chuck felt the same that night? (_I haven't slept I feel sick like sthere's something in my stomach. Fluttering_.)

(She remembered the night of Rufus Humphrey's party in Serena's room on the bed where she had let Chuck lie down after she broke the kiss. _You're not going to remember this in the morning_. She told him, kissing him on the forehead. He sneered, saying _Can't forget you, Waldorf. Never can, never will._ She shook her head. _I'll see you in school, Chuck._ Then she walked out.)

He tapped his foot on the floor impatiently and bit his lip as if he were holding back a smile, she felt his grip tighten onto her wrist. She had forgotten about that and she should've pulled away as soon as she realized it but she didn't.

_Answer me, Humphrey._ She begged in her mind, squeezing her eyes shut.

"If you like me then I get to kiss you and you get to kiss me." he smiled that stupid smile, the one that made her insides twist and heart flutter.

She shook her head and breathed out. "It's not that easy." It was never that easy because it wasn't supposed to be easy.

"Because you won't make it easy, Blair." Because you had to fight for love. (Then again, what if it wasn't love?) "Why won't you let me do this properly?"

"Because this isn't part of the plan." she managed to muster under her breath. She was leaning against the lockers, her back on the cold metal with his lips inches from hers. Maybe she could move closer and feel his breath hit her lips. (The world wouldn't end, would it?)

"Because i'm not Nate? Because i'm from Brooklyn?" It's like a slap across the face, the way he had said those words. It was as if he was mocking her fairytales. Her plan. "Because i'm not the shallow stereotypical knight in shining armor? Because you're no damsel in distress either."

"No," she said. "I'm not because I don't need to be saved by anyone like you." she had no idea what she was saying. (Because she did need saving.)

His lips were so close. Too close. She had been wondering if he tasted the way he did at Rufus' party. Like scotch and Colgate. She wanted to taste him again. (Just a bit and maybe then she'll stop wanting him.)

Chuck had been mindlessly wandering the hallways after he just had a fix of hash in the back alley of the school where he used to take drags with Nathaniel. He was fucking high and he needed a fucking drink. (Scotch, please.)

He had stumbled into numerous empty rooms, muttering random words like Blair and love and fucking because that's what he needed. (No, not _love_. He needed a fuck and Blair. He needed to fuck Blair because the bitch won't let him and couldn't take anyone else.) He rolled his eyes and took drunk steps out of a particular room which he knew was the English room. When he spotted Humphrey holding Waldorf by the wrists against the lockers something in him boiled and made him run.

_Don't fucking touch her because if I can't you can't either. _He wanted to yell, when his fist came on contact with Humphrey's jaw he decided that it was already like saying that.

"Don't touch her." he muttered angrily as Humphrey fell to the ground, his hand cupping the part Chuck had hit. "Don't _ever_ touch her!"

"Chuck!" the brunette gasped behind him. "What the fuck."

He rolled his eyes and looked at her.

"He can't touch you." he amended proudly with his chin up in the air. "You. Can't. Touch. Her." he told Humphrey with a glare.

"Why is that?" she raised her eyebrow in her snarky Blair like way. She pushed him and pushed him so hard. He hated it and those damn butterflies that never even left him.

"Because." _I can't and you won't let me_. "You don't like him." Because she didn't.

"Wow, thanks for the tip, Sherlock." she snapped angrily. "Humphrey and I were just talking about Serena and how she wanted to do nothing with him. He took it too seriously I guess."

"He. can't. touch. you."

He turned to look at Humphrey. One hand on the floor used to support his body weight, the other with his hand on his cheek as he winced from the after effects of the punch. He felt a smirk creep along his face as he stumbled away.


End file.
